The Ideal?

The ideal...

I've been thinking a lot about the ideal lately with the holidays coming.  With the bug really understanding that things are different around the house--there's a huge tree inside, for instance--

I've been trying to figure out what would make the ideal Christmas morning.

What Christmas casserole should I make in order to look like awesome, but like I didn't try too hard...

How can I make the house look like I'm a stay-at-home mom instead of a I-can't-get-off-the-couch-after-the-bug-goes-to-bed mom?

How can I make the perfect roast for family Christmas dinner?

What would the ideal Christmas present be for me?  K keeps asking...

The fact is that I just don't know.  I'm literally at a loss for what would make me happy.

It seems like I don't have the time.  That's what I keep telling myself.  But, then I find mysIelf doing things like...well...writing this post.  Or watching Big Bang Theory.  Or talking to colleagues after work.  Or sitting on the floor while the bug plays.  And I realize that I do have the time to do more.  But it's just so damn hard to do more.

Where do people get the motivation needed in order to create the ideal?  

I look around at my friends and their lives, and from the outside many of them seem to have it together.  Their homes are clean.  My toilet hasn't been cleaned for at least three weeks.  Their Christmas shopping is done.  I have only bought one present for K, and I don't have any idea when I'll actually have time to get something that doesn't come from the grocery store.  Their kids are clean and happy.  My kid is running around right now trying to find crayons while I hurriedly try to finish this before something gets broken.  Their lesson plans include well thought out assessment.  I need to figure out when I can get an hour this weekend to hack together something for Monday, and then blindly fly by the seat of my pants until Christmas vacation.   They are finding time to run and exercise.  I haven't done anything active since Thanksgiving morning.  They are confident.  I feel like I'm faking it.

So, what's my ideal?  I don't have a clue.  And let's face it; I know that until I figure that out, I'll just putz along, hoping to stumble upon something.

P&G Loves Moms

Like so many people out there, I watched the Olympics these past two weeks.  I particularly like the diving, swimming, track, and for the first time, I got into gymnastics and beach volley ball.  All of this sports watching got me thinking, what sports do I hope Isaac plays?

Well, gymnastics and diving would be great to watch, but let's face it, a central Vermonter with no gymnastics or diving teams around he isn't going to make it far.  Soccer and basketball are accessible, but I'm going to admit something.  I don't think I'd want to watch match after really long soccer and basketball match.  And that's what it would take to get my picture on those P&G commercials.  Long, grueling hours of driving to practices and sitting through games in order to get my little boy to thank me on that podium for all of my hard work.  *sniff*

But, then this happened:  he fell.  And he fell hard.  Being mother of the year and all, I said, "Don't rush over, he's okay," to my mom who jumped up off of the couch.  Then, my little baby boy screamed a scream, and he looked at me, and he had a black and blue egg right over his a-moment-ago-perfect blue eye the size of a, well, egg.

At that moment I thought to myself, "Self, you are the world's worst mother".  You see, my little guy was hurt, and I didn't react.  In fact, I non-reacted.  I did the opposite of react.  And what was I thinking about at the time?  Getting my face on a P&G commercial.

And, if a bump, no matter how big or small is going to send me for a loop, then how am I going to deal with all of those late night games and driving ordeals?  I'm just not strong enough to be the mother of an Olympian.  I guess I'm going to have to find another dream to dream.

Slime? Food? Eh...

As a teacher, I get to experience something on a regular basis that many people haven't experienced in many years. It's something that very important people have been thinking about a lot lately. But something that you haven't had for a long time.

School food.

Now, I'll admit it here once and for all. I like some of the food our chef gives us. At our school we are lucky enough to have a chef cooking for us, and not some grumpy person with a hairnet who hates kids. There are the chicken fajitas. Those are good. And he makes this veggie lo mien that is tasty. Oh, and the soups...yummy. But, by and large, I know that the food I eat here every day is not healthy. And, isn't that the goal of these important people who keep talking about school food? To give our kids healthy food?

In my community, many of the students are on free or reduced lunch. For some, the only good meals they get are the lunch and breakfasts that they eat here. I agree with those important people. It's beyond important that they get a good meal here. It's a moral obligation. But, their methods seem...strange.

I've been hearing about this thing called pink slime. And I've been hearing that schools can opt out of getting it. But, in what way is this healthy? Shouldn't we be giving our kids meat that is what we would like to eat at home? When you check out the National School Lunch Program guidelines...well...they sound good. But, schools have to charge particular prices for their lunches. Also, let's look at what sorts of food schools can get for free. Chicken nuggets. Riblets. Do we even know what meat that is?

I have watched the seasons of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. If you haven't seen it, you're missing out on a great opportunity to get angry at The Man.

I wish I knew what to say and where to go from here with this rant. But, it's lunch time (and I'm seriously not making that up) and I need to go and eat. So, I'm going to stop thinking about school food for now, and then start again in about 45 minutes.

Hell Yeah

I made fried pickle chips last night for dinner.

Yeah, you can put in orders for the next time you're at my house.

They were awesome.

'nuff said.

I'm outie.

Maple Sap

So, I spent my morning doing math and dealing with numbers and letters in a way that made my eyes go a little crazy and made me feel like I was back in Pre-Calculus wondering when the pain would be over.

This time though, it's going to end with me having some beer. I hope.

It's maple season here, and that means K & I do our yearly figurin' of what the sugar content of the maple sap we will brew with should be. Now, we could just use sap, which would give no maple flavor unless we invite a sommelier over for dinner but would raise the OG, or we could use just a bit of maple syrup which would negligibly raise the OG, but it would give the bierre a maple flavor.

Choices choices.

Now you see the dilemma. Where is the line? How far from one edge will be right without being too far? As you can see, this idea could apply to all sorts of areas, not just my drinking habit.

My mother and I had a talk today. She wants me to trust her to use her own judgement with the little guy. But, if I give her free reign, who knows what sort of crazy she'll do (probably none, I turned out fairly normal). But, if I don't give her more autonomy, she'll not want to babysit. For free. Whenever I ask.

Where's the line?

Well, for now, it's at 10% sap. Bring on the beer.

Cold and Lemony

When I was pregnant I became semi-obsessed with citrus. It wasn't a craving. I didn't need citrus, but when I ate something that could be lemon or orange flavored, I chose that.

This brings me to one of the things that I did want but couldn't have during pregnancy. No, I'm not going to speak today of really awesome french fries with garlic aoili. Goodness, how I wanted those...

I'm talking about limoncello. Cold. Right out of the freezer. Little shot glass of it after dinner...

I haven't been without it since the little bugger popped out.

Thanks Giving

Here's a bit of a different purpose. I give thanks.

I am thankful for (in no particular order):

1. Kevin


2. Isaac


3. My friends


4. My home away from the road surrounded by trees and deer


5. Vodka soaked with lemon rinds (more on that later!)


6. Naps


7. My family


8. Snow


9. Big Bang Theory


10. My gas stove


11. Baxter


12. Bosley


13. Vacations


14. The Single Pebble


15. Warm Brie


16. The trail network in the back yard


17. Hoops and Yoyo

And, of course, there's more.